Hey people! Running a little late (based on when I usually blog) because I’m home today with Baby Chocolate Pound Cake. Her stay was extended due to school being out in her area and so Caun and I are doing split duty. Glad I had a few days left this year.
Over the course of the weekend some interesting convo has floated my way and given me things to think about as well as an epiphany or two.
Breeze One
Funny about epiphanies, you never know when that light bulb will go on. Like this morning as BCPC and I were in the throes of making little star and heart cakes. You know how parents feel the need to ‘do over’ if they say, were very busy with their careers and the older children didn’t get as much from them. I am kinda feeling that. I was around mini-me all the time, but I don’t think I spent as much quality time with her. I just thought that being in her presence was enough. So I am kinda trying to explore that side of the situation - actually doing more with this child. It’s been interesting and like this year mini-me is definately going to assist heavily with Thanksgiving dinner. I am also trying to spend time doing things with her - it’s not too late. This actually is the time period to reach out. I think this is where you develop that relationship where years later she’ll say “my mom and I are great together” and what not. This is that window of opportunity when you start to shift a bit and I don’t want to miss it.
Breeze Two
We were walking in the mall this weekend getting our smoothies from the same spot we always do. At the negro mall, as long as you bought it from the mall, you can take it into the movies. Well the counter girl has been there awhile and she kinda knows us. Caun went out to the car to get something and she says to me, “How do you all like each other so much? Are you all married? Ya’ll really like each other?” I was kinda silenced, nobody ever said that one. I told her we were married and she went on to say how she sits there all day and so many couples come up and they are not loving, they act like they don’t even like each other and everytime she sees us and our family…we are happy. I told her I really didn’t know what the ’secret’ was. Maybe we were older, maybe it was fate, maybe it was genuine love and not convenience or circumstance. She went on further to say her parents fight daily and she didn’t want to get married until she saw…us. I was touched. I personally like to think that alot of things in my life are attributed to a fairytale like existence that I keep going in my head..I find that more exciting, lol If I think of myself as a princess and live a life devoid of alot of what folks go through, go up in a castle to get myself together and then meet the prince of my life. It all works, lol
Breeze Three
“You are a great stepmother..taking on his child and all” Well I tell yah, he sure came in and took my child, why wouldn’t I take his. Even with the drama. I knew about it before we got married. Everyone comes with a package deal and I was raised where somebody could show up with three kids and tell you these are your brothers and sisters, lol I never was raised in a ’step’ environment. I use the word because I want BCPC to be comfortable and not feel torn etc. I love the man, and am lucky to love his child, I say lucky because if this was a problem child - things might be different, let’s be honest. I think somewhere at some point I’ve said before, raise your children as if you want a man or your children will leave you manless. Don’t nobody wanna put up with your bad ass kids…sorry.
Breeze Four
This is odd and difficult to articulate, but I have been looking into this and I am going to have to face some facts about some things concerning mini-me. After going to her school and listening to them talk about her, no matter how much I am trying to instill in her competition and the desire to do her best, because of her looks alot of things mini-me is just going to have come easy to her. When an educator says to you, “Oh she’ll do just fine in life, look how beautiful she is” and you standing there looking like WHAT?! You come to realize that alot of people in the world we live in are enamoured with that ‘look’. Add in kindness, compassion, smarts and civilization and that’s almost more than they can comprehend. Mini-me does that which is required to get it, but they treat it like it’s the next best thing to sliced bread. So how do you proceed, when she is in a world that will say “oh you gonna make cheerleading cause you got the ‘look’” and other examples. Especially when you are not even that enamoured with yourself YET you do know that’s how alot of folks think. She has confidence and all of that and alot of it has to do with she’s idenfied and is at that age to identify that she got that which folks find attractive.
So now I am shifting a bit and focusing on making sure that she doesn’t let that dictate where she goes in her life, but that she always stay in control of those circumstances. She needs to know how and when to use it and when to not let others let her slide because of it, cause believe it or not, it has a life of it’s own. I cant lie, I’m shallow sometimes when it comes to looks and I have found it interesting that you know how some people are attractive to some people but not to others like Denzel turns many a woman on, but I think he’s just average, well not so with Mini-me, I have NEVER had a person not find her attractive since she came out the womb. We walking down the mall and some woman is whispering loudly to her own daughter “look at how beautiful that girl is”. WTH? I focus alot on her inner beauty and when I look at her, that’s what makes her beautiful to me and I want to continue to foster that, but let me tell you it’s all so interesting.. So interesting.
Well let me get off of here, I’ve lost my train of thought, lol.
Thanks for all the kind remarks about our pictures. SimplyB, I go to a braid salon on the corner of Columbia and Glenwood if you are in the Decatur, GA area. I also totally agree about my ‘twin’ in the picture. Even in that overexposed lighting we look like freaking twins. If you were to superimpose my momma in there - it’s scary, lol
Well I am off today, I see a nap off in my immediate future. BCPC is drunk on little star shaped cakes so she’s out already, lol