the adventures of pamalicious

Let me preface this by saying that ya’ll know I don’t come on like this in the evening, but I need to change up the programming so that I can address something.

 

Ya’ll know that  a lot of folks know my mom and know who she is and so when folks see things pertaining to her, they sometimes shoot me a note.  Well recently, someone posted a slew of her old talk show footage they had been keeping (blank stare) on You Tube and as a offshoot of that - she had had a small resurgence of attention by yet another generation or a revisit from those who were old enough to for it to be relevant back in the day.

 

My mom has basically been in semi-retirement, choosing to focus her attention on her own town. She has not been bothering anyone.  All the years of being cussed out by my fellow kneegrow bretheren has been quite trying and she just wanted to chill. 

Well it was nice to see that there are folks still stuck on stupid and still going on and on about her most infamous statement pertaining to what to do to a woman who has gotten completely out of control a la Airplane.  A firm smack in the mouth. If there was EVER a utterance of a sentence that could be taken back - that would be it.  She took it out the book, she revised her thinking (with a few words from me in the mix) and moved on. Well folks can’t seem to move on - as ignorant as some of us act on the daily, especially now - I don’t condone it - but I understand to paraphrase Chris Rock.

 

Anyhoo - I sighed when I saw the title on a public board over on Blackvoices  SMACK SHAHRAZAD ALI PLEASE I already developed a migrane.  I am no longer in the habit of fighting hard on behalf of my mom because it’s a mute point, but sometimes folks piss me off and I have to respond.  This thread pissed me off, because they are accusing her of doing something illegal with their damn credit cards. Which is NOT TRUE!  Let me repeat it’s NOT TRUE!  Then they put her picture up and make fun of her as a woman. Say all you want about what she writes, she’s used to it and you are entitled to your opinion - but don’t take it personal - what yo momma look like?  Mine is beautiful to be in her 60’s skin almost see through, not a wrinkle in site, so if you can’t present your opinion about the body of work without taking it to the body of the woman - then keep it to yourself. 

I don’t even hang out over there - forget it’s there most times, but I had to register and go through all this to post over there about this website thing:

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Well that isn’t the Cash Four - it’s how many days my child has been on the earth. I was thinking in the car this morning that this has been one doozy of a year for me and we are only 7 months into this whole 14 year old thing.  Of course, children can’t see that you are also growing and changing and how stressful it all can be. 

I mean no disrespect, I have a good kid and it’s damn near killing me, I have no idea how a parent who has real ‘issues’ makes it.  Kudos to you on the real. 

So much has gone on this 14th year of her existence.  I was just talking to her today about I was so tired of her 24 hour a day attitude like somebody did something to her.  If there ever was a time to drink and drug as an adult - this is it.  Let’s review what I’ve had to go through, cause this blog spot is about me, lol lol

• Being mad because I won’t get the flat stove top so she won’t have to clean the stove eyes
• Myspace
• The fight for freedom of hair
• Bedtime issues
• Phone Curfews
• The need to sleep 18 hours a day
• Can you ever come out the room
• Exactly how does your MP3 player give you all the therapy and parenting you need
• When did I become the most hated person on earth?
• When did I become the parent who is the wackest of all time?
• Yes you have two parents now and we both are going to weigh in and want to know what’s going on
• Dances - no not proms
• No you can’t read the black adult romance novels:  to much sex, to much fantasy and your hormones already poppin off like fireworks
• and of course Boys or should I say Boy..

I’m worn out just typing that stuff.  It’s a full time job, not to rear them necessarily as to balance it all out.  As knowledgeable as I deem myself to be, I am still learning while still growing.  I really don’t think after it’s all said and done that I have prepared myself, if I’m about to stroke out at 7 months into being 14. 

I think the thing that bothers me the most is the ‘perception’ that I’m a wack parent and that all the other parents are sooo cool.  She is the only one that even thinks this.  Her friends have to tell her constantly to calm the hell down - why are you acting so crazy about your parents being here, chaperoning us etc. etc.  My child hates me and it hurts. 

I stop myself on the daily from throwing myself at my mothers knees and apologizing profusely for….hating her at 14.

You wanna know what an even bigger issue is that I take full responsibility for….

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Just like with American Idols Syesha, Sam Cook’s "A Change is Gonna Come" makes me emotional.  It is so haunting and relevant on a global and personal scale. Her singing it last night, was poignant because I see change happening in my life. 

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Hey everybody!  I know I know I’ve just been in another world lately and blogging has kinda floated around in my head but not actually hit the page, lol lol 

How you be?  I’m fine thanks for asking.  I’ve had to restructure my time to spend a lot more time with the child.  She got all this stuff coming up. 8th grade dance, picnics, etc. A couple of hair dos etc. I need to get her dress for graduation.  Just filled out camp forms and transfer papers for her as well  She got accepted to the cities counselors in training program after one heck of an interview. Its from June 9th-July 11th. One week intensive training an overnight rafting trip in So Carolina and then 5 weeks as a Jr camp counselor.  Should be fun, by the time she’s 16 she can counsel or pay.  Good deal!

Then she is in the middle of her first crush. Lawd its gonna kill me. Yes this is going to be the death of me. He’s a nice young man captain of the football team and all that jazz, but this whole thing is new and its like I have been traveling up the roller coaster and bam!  Here we go over the edge. Now more than ever I am spending time talking to her interacting with her relating stories of my youth. Keeping her engaged. Its hard not to just freak out cop an attitude and what not, but that’s fear and I can’t be afraid. I just take it one day at a time. Caun and I talk to make sure we aren’t giving mixed messages and we just try to not freak out, lol We smile a lot and try to make her feel comfortable talking about what her and her friends are doing. I told her I know it’s wonderful and the feeling is great, but like I told you when you started to menstruate - it means your body is capable of conceiving/nurturing and birthing a baby, but your PERSON is not emotionally, mentally ready for the consequences of that action. Same thing with boys. Your biological response to the wonders of boys does not mean you are READY for the consequences.

My sew-in quest continues, sigh. I ended up hearing very bad things about one place. So I’m a keep it stepping. I will find someone. I want someone actively working in a salon or with established clientele. Dammit for not having a hairstylist. Imma touchup the front half of my head in anticipation and just let it be while I continue to look.  I think I found someone - her portfolio is fierce and her prices are reasonable in my mind. The $50 sew in’s scare me, lol 

I am enjoying not having school. But I’m looking forward to going back.  Things are poppin off in my professional life and I’m slowly but quite confidently moving forward in my personal development. I’ll speak about that sometime next week. It was good stuff.

So anyhoo - I just wanted to check in.  I have been reading folks as always and I gotta go back and comment on some stuff cause ya’ll a wild bunch, lol

The sun was shining on my face as I stood in the driveway this morning and even though it was a bit nippy outside - I had this feeling of euphoria come over me.  It IS truly special to be alive!  To be a part of this big picture.  To live is cool, but to be ALIVE is something else.  It made me think about what keeps folks wanting to live.  What is it that motivates you to feel the blessing of life and do the best you can to show your appreciate for the gift of life - because it’s not your right and as we know folks challenge it and push the envelope on it all the time.

I’d love to see some of your reasons and they don’t have to be deep, they don’t have to be profound or spiritual in nature - just what triggers you to LIVE!

(in no particular order)

1.  To see my Grand babies

2.  To see what could possibly be the final Mike J & his brothers concert

3.  To see mini-me go to the prom

4.  To see my mom’s face when she see’s her first Great Grand Child

5.  To be a part of a mass family healing

6.  To one day see a stomach with no rolls

7.  Muscadine Season

8.  Mothers Day

9.  Week long cruises

10.  Shopping

11.  Plaques on the walls with Educational Degrees

12.  Because they keep making….SHOES!

13.  There might be a Black President (or Vice President) one day

14.  My lottery numbers might hit

15.  Rap Music might get relevant again

16.  Black People might actually have quality TV and be on quality TV

17.  Sindbad’s Old School Concerts might come back

18.  My mom might get the accolades she deserves

19.  I might actually write a book

20.  Bouquets of fresh flowers - so what they die - I LOVE THEM!

21.  Hearing your JAM and it take you to all sorts of wonderful memories

22.  Waking up next to Caun

23.  I have so much more to learn

24.  Because I want to go over and remember my past

25.  Anticipating the greatness that will be Mini-me

 

HAPPINESS IS…..

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