Mini-me and I are pretty much in the same boat only she (and her father) were afforded the opportunity to meet one another. My dad and I weren’t so lucky. He passed while my mom was pregnant with me. I’ve thought often of how different I would have been if he had been in my life. Stories from family and friends about him helped to somewhat fill that void but it’s not the same. I can honestly say that at 30, even without having met him, that I miss my daddy.

Great post.

My dad is handsome, charismatic, bright, articulate, and when I was young, I thought he hung the moon. He and my mom divorced (well, separated) when I was 3.

My dad had married once, before my mom @ age 19, and had 2 kids from that marriage. Then he had another daughter with his first wife while he was married to my mom (like, must have been when my mom was pregnant). Then, he has me. Then, he “married” again (they were together something like 14 or 15 years) and had 3 kids. He’s now married again (he and my mom finally legally divorced, LOL and he legally maried his current wife) and they have 3 kids together. Oh, and I forgot about the daughter who is also scandalously close in age to me, whom no one knew about until I was in college.

With all of those children, and his hustling, hard working, dreaming, restless mentality, that didn’t leave much room for his attending my parent-teacher conferences. He also lived about 7 hours away from me, growing up.

We have never had a traditional father-daughter relationship. I have always held fast that none of it bothers me, that it has always been this way, but in reality, I know better. A girl needs her father. It’s complicated!

It is equally important for girls to have their fathers around because it shapes them and their views on men. I have had so many issues because of my father, just wanting a man to just love me and make me feel so important. It’s the lack of importance my father showed me that makes me need it when I should feel important simply because of how I feel about myself. Somehow, that just isn’t enough. I could write forever on this so I will stop here.

Great post Pam, that hit home today!

All I can do is wish.

And see the pain on my daughters faces as they see what I see. Nothing when they look through the window toward their fathers and nothing is on the other side.

And I still, at 34 wish I had a “daddy”.