the adventures of pamalicious

"Depression"  "Disillusion" 

Stormeka is in a dark place right now. I stand in the mirror and force myself to come alive and call on that extra to make it to work. In the evenings, I collapse under the weight of it all and my body just wants to sleep, yet it’s so bound up in stress knots that it takes a minute to relax. 

Only a couple of things are definite stress elevators for me and then only two specific things put me where I am now:  My family and Money.  Well the latter is currently kicking my ass.  I mean it’s taken me out for the count.

Everything in the negative, thousands of dollars floating around somewhere in Jonesboro due to a banking error, white notices, yellow notices, bobbing and weaving, ducking and dodging. Car accidents in garages, parking tickets, disappointing children - - - Did you know dark rum taste good in a tall glass of splenda sweetened ice tea?

I don’t know how to make this work…I want to lash out, but it’s already beating my ass no need for me to add to it - cause it’s no ones fault but mine.

The high has come down and we are both scratching our heads. Money doesn’t grow on trees?  The Debit Card is not the card to the magical land of bottomless accounts.

The bank got theirs.  They had a party about it. Didn’t you see them drinking cider and singing For Their a Jolly Good Fellow as our $35’s sprinkled to the ground like confetti over their desks.

The Magnegroes are cocky; so no loans for our loving, having a good time, we the shit nah nah nah asses. Giggle Giggle knew there was a chink in that Armour.

There is salvation in a little show on fox called American Idol. Lawd I needed a good laugh. I will be alright. Such is life sometimes its rocky. I only drank one drink. It aint fun drinking alone. I didn’t overeat either. Damn what happen to a good vice lol.

I do have a good solid relationship.  Tick Tock Tick Tock, the time bomb that sets many a relationship off hasn’t stressed ours. We have no stress towards one another.  WE did this - so no blame to toss.  The relationship edition of twister; we are tangled but we are holding each other up.  I look at him pitifully, he will see us through - that’s what men do, except he is like me and I am like him - we are evenly yoked and it’s strung us up in a tree - I…am…choking, one of us will have to unyoke and take on a different idea.  My sane understanding of men and women keep me from total meltdown, Shush!  Learning how to Shush is such a powerful tool for women to acquire.

The American Gladiator is on in my home.  I’m on the bike and my arms are giving out in this damn eliminator.  I gots to keep going.  Somebody is cheering I hear them. 

Tonite I will be in a ball, curled up in submittance to the errors of my ways.  We will get through this - but today I am depressed and Disillusioned! 

Ahh to the haters - Thanks for coming out, Good Night and God Bless…

Oh and Fuck Yah, cause you know we still fabulous in spite of, lol 

THIS TO SHALL PASS!