the adventures of pamalicious

Happy Thanksgiving! Well its’ 6:30pm est and we ate at around 1:45 or so. Then in true form, such a severe case of ‘itis we crashed till 4:00 and then took a good 45 minute walk.  My goal became not to gain anything and seeing as I ate only one plate, I’m doing fine.

I woke up this morning with sooo much on my mind.  I was so stressed out. I lay there in the bed and then it dawned on me -

• I could have woke up this morning after burying my child yesterday
• I could have woke up this morning after burying my mother on Tuesday
• I could have woke up this morning having to get dressed quickly because the shelter puts you out at 8am
• I could have woke up this morning without my faculties about me
• I could have woke up this morning to get ready to visit my child in a mental institution
• I could have woke up this morning knowing I had to hustle for that next ‘hit’
• I could have woke up this morning at 14 with a child
• I could have woke up…alone.

So I got my whining ass up out my warm bed, went into my stocked kitchen, cut the lights and heat on and got it together. 

Being thankful can’t be a selfish act.  Honey-Libra has told us for almost a year now, once a week, why she is thankful.  We can’t just pull it out when we remember Oprah told us to write it all down.  It’s hard.  When you are in the midst of living your life, you sometimes forget that as much as you think you are the sole owner of your destiny - you aren’t.  Stopping to say Thanks be it to your mate, your kids, your parents or God is something that has to be forced. I will strive to do better.  I am humble - but sometimes I want what I want and I forget about all that I have.

So I hope that some folks have some great "Soul Food" type stories to tell. I’m about to go and check out the pie and ice cream, lol  

That’s what I’m doing today.  I sure wish I could ‘get’ wordpress. I really want to figure out when stuff messes up.  I have no idea where this freaking font came from that has turned everything to italics.  I really wish I could move back to blogger and keep my domain name.  If anyone knows about this, please let me know. I dont’ like not knowing how to manipulate my page and my webhost is just busy.  SIGH.

Anyhoo - I don’t have to much to talk about today.  The spirit that Caun carries just gets me closer to the hereafter, I tell yah.  His boss bought us an entire T’Giving dinner from Piccadilly so my cooking has been reduced to homemade icecream and beanpies, lol  I am going to add my ‘flava’ to everything but that is truly a blessing. 

I think I’m taking tomorrow and Friday off from being so conscious of my points.  I plan to walk, but this is one of two times - I get to really just enjoy food around a holiday spirit.  I’mma walk. I just won’t see any scale movement this week - which is fine. The WW boards are in an uproar over Thanksgiving - I don’t have time to obsess over food.  I’mma eat within reason and enjoy my family. 

Well let me go bop around on this page - apparently some picturs have changed and I need to fix them.

I’ll be on tomorrow -ya’ll know me, lol 

 

As we all start to ramp it up about how Thankful and Grateful we are as the official holiday season begins - I’d like to take this Tuesday to talk about that other side - the ungrateful muthafuckas. We been joking and what not on various blogs about those wonderful people called our family. Especially around the holidays when for alot of us in this modern, we all don’t live around the corner from each other, get together. However, alot of us, especially when you got big families got some foul ass branches in that family tree.

I’m making a public announcement:

That is one thing that will tick me off and I will tell you about it. Yea I am IN LOVE with me and I’m IN LOVE with my man and I employ the principle of Fabulocity - but I am not a shallow person or a selfish one. What I am is a broad that is not going to be guilted into or played about shit.

For some reason (which behooves me considering we were not of means by any stretch of the imagination) alot of folks in my family have placed ‘pricetags’ on our familial bonds. I hear all the time in my life, other families doing for each other, babysitting, running errands etc. and it’s just…done. In my family - things for each other are a ’service’ and thus there is a charge.

To list all the things I have contributed as one who figured out how to move, get a job and maintain for my entire adult life - would be fruitless because cataracts run amok.

Once I peeped the method to the madness - I started to define how I interact. I don’t count or charge for my kindness. My friends don’t either. We just do for each other. Be it a kind word, a few dollars or remembering that on this day you met your husband so here’s a funny gift for you. Not only am I not selfish, but having come up off of 13 years of singledom and the assistance I have gotten in times during that period - I have no right to be.

Familial amnesia is a muthafucka - let me tell you. How in three levels of the hottest section of hell - can someone who for the most part has been a receiver for most of their adult life - sit somewhere and tell you that you haven’t done shit for me and mines and direct it towards me - who is not the official giver of you and yours to begin with? It stings when that person makes the accusations and they are a direct branch from your tree - but it’s damn stone cold absurd when you are just a twig on the branch from the tree.

Young love gone to your head, not their fault, need a bed? 16 yrs old two kids baby daddy who is lost - here’s food, furniture, clothes - don’t worry bout the cost. You got ALOT of nerve!

Being ungrateful is ugly ugly ugly. However, when it’s prefaced by hate - it’s even worse. I tell mini-me, don’t you ever dumb down your accomplishments or your happiness in the way you living to appease someone who is not happy with theirs.

Especially when you all raised with the exact same information, if you can’t figure it out - it ain’t my fault!

Yea this post is rambled, but I’m angry. I wonder about folks who feel you have to pay to appease them for their shortcomings and if you are not doing it at the rate or in the way they feel it should be done - then you haven’t done shit for them.

Now I have to give you an example and really not do shit for you - let’s see if you see the difference.

Good Morning people!  I hope everyone had a good weekend.  Short work week for me, probably alot of folks are already on vacation for Thanksgiving.  I look forward to reading about everyones Turkey Day adventures.  Driving around Atlanta this weekend, I saw some of the most beautiful foilage welcoming Fall.  Love this town during this time of the year.

You know that in the Magnegroes household we work hard to make sure we are taking care of each others spirits - so there was a rally around Caun to get him back on track concerning his business. This is a hiccup - we will make this happen.  He was quite pleased to get this “Making Lemonade out of Lemons” flower arrangement from me at his job on Friday.  We may be MEGA broke because of this, but our family is rich - let me tell you.

Seems as if the road of bitterness will be taking that fork in the road and stop roadblocking us.  First payment made Friday - let’s see how long this lasts. 

AMA’s were alright. I was somewhat watching. I give Mary props - she did her thang with no backup dancers. That took alot of courage.  Music sucks these days and watching the AMA’s just confirmed it.  Chris Brown was his usual - fine self.  Otherwise I was left feeling empty.  I know Taylor Hicks is mad his ‘Clay Akins” is tearing it up, lol  Bones Thug and Harmony - COME ON!!!!!

I had the wind knocked out of me last evening, with a display by a family member I never saw coming in my wildest dreams.  I still can’t wrap my mind around that conversation and the venom and ungratefulness from someone I consider myself an elder to. The encouragement and co-signing of such behaviour made it even more difficult and I was inconsolable last evening.  I haven’t cried over family matters that much in awhile.  I feel provoked to go home and just be with my momma.  Sometimes only a mothers protection, even at 41 is the only thing that works.  My soul is definately troubled by this one people. 

You know you do things in your life, when you feel you are in a state of personal crisis, to save yourself.  Self perservation is a powerful feeling, I’m sure alot of us have been there.  You try to make sure that you leave as little pain in the wake of you taking care of self, but you never know what might come back and haunt you.  Me moving to Atlanta was the ’save myself’ situation and in alot of respects - I haven’t been able to live down that I left.  I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why I saw the move as saving myself, just know that I felt like I was drowing in the situation I was in.  This move saved my life.  It has allowed me to plow through and regroup and realign and ultimately grow and mature.  Each day, each week, each month, each year I have come to understanding about my past, present and future. I am in a place that can only be called euphoria about all those things.  I see the good and the bad and the ugly and more importantly I see my role in alot of stuff.  Relationships have been repaired, respect established and more will come.  I don’t regret making this move.  I don’t regret it. 

Well, let me survey all this in front of me and make sure it’s all tied down and/or up before my short week is over.   

 

 

Hey folks!  Due to some margin error - I had to delete the post about Dr. Jan Adams and I purposedly took down the post about my friend Ron’s son passing. I just wanted to get that out of my soul. 

It’s been one hell of a week so let’s just starting flowing……

• I’m glad that I make sure my life comes with seatbelts cause it’s been a ride this week!

 

• One of the greatest things you can learn about a relationship with a man is that you aren’t one.  Play your position from the vantage point of being a woman - you will be surprised how much clarity you have.

 

• I am always surprised at how many people I assume because of outward game have some and always just as disappointed when I realize - they don’t.  Definately don’t judge a book by it’s cover.

 

• In the ever weird world of Pamalicious and MoBetta, I gave out a finger lashing (since it was an email) about his commitment issues and was rooting for the woman he’s dating.  Yea I’m evolved on that level.

 

• Avon is starting slow, but it started - so I’m good.

 

• The human experience:
• 5,000 flyers printed and ready to give out
• Radio spots bout to jump off this evening during rush hour
• Going to the club 3 days before our event and discovering it closed and padlocked - priceless!

….This too shall pass

• Bro - I know I was excited about pulling out my boots for the season, but I’m not feeling your excitement about those burgandy leather pants. 

 

• It feels good to have some room in my damn pants.

 

• KNOCK KNOCK is this thing on?!

 

• My Mother-in-Law presented us with a handmade, hand sewn quilt she had been working on almost an year to us.  I feel blessed because not only do I have a mother-in-law that provided me with the heirloom like I always wanted, but I have a mother who has given me a legacy.  It can’t get any better than that.

 

 

•  My fast ass posing with the quilt and the personalized pillowcases my mom made us.

 

 

• This whole scene does nothing to dissipate the rumor that Caun and I are stuck on ourselves, lol

 

• It’s not that you couldn’t know our names, I just like our stage names better, lol

 

• Mini-me is at the BETA convention doing Big Thangs. They rocking her shirt design this year.  My pension via my child is looking better by the day.

 

 

• A text that makes my heart swell with pride:

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, if Diddy can run a marathon so can you. Sometimes things are thrown at us that we don’t like or understand but we overcome them and are left standing victorious.  The club will open and u and diddy will stand eye to eye” - Mini-me to Caun when she heard about the club.

Next week is Thanksgiving!  Working two days! YEAAAAAA!