the adventures of pamalicious

I happen to catch ‘Stomping at the Savoy’ this weekend.  I can’t believe I had never seen that movie before.  Anyhoo - there was this scene between Lynn Whitfield and Mario Van Peoples that was just HOT HOT HOT.  Grown folks business all the way. It made my mind wander to the growth in my life to being Grown & Sexy.

Grown

Being a child of the 80’s I was very much into the light skinned super thin curly haired individual.  Like alot of girls, I saw El Debarge as the leader of that look.  Though other hues of brothers caught my attention; I was quite enthralled with that look and ended up marrying it, lol 

I can remember the exact conversation I had with a girlfriend much later on in my life when she said I should try a thicker built man.  Well I balked at that, because overweight brothers have never been my ‘type’ and I will stretch my requirements till they can’t be stretched anymore, but folks who know me know - I am reallll shallow when it comes to looks, lol lol. I did start to look at and examine the 190-225 pounded brother, lol.  Hmmm, that might actually work.  So I fluttered around with that and then I saw……Wesley Snipes.  Oh My Dayum!  I had never seen such beautiful color. I immediately jumped ship in terms of preference. I actually didn’t jump right into actually dating a dark skinned man; but the first opportunity I got, I did and not only was he dark but he looked like Wesley and was built like hell.  So began my attraction to muscle bound brothers and my fascination with the male form in my personal life. When you dating skinny - there is no male form to admire, but ooo (and I’m sure some sistas can agree) looking at a brother who got muscles (not to much but just right) is almost as good as as chicken, lol.  I had stopped dating men with boys bodies and moved into the big leagues.  I also stopped honoring any hue code.  Light to Dark - if I was attracted, I was attracted.  Good Lawd it was just so beautiful.  I started to have dreams of having me a beautiful dark skinned son, fantasies about running my fingers along the well defined back muscle of a chocolate God.  Watching Morris Chestnut in The Best Man and Wesley in Disappearing Acts was better than any porn I had seen of late, lol.  However, I still felt like I was on my way to the ultimate in grown and then I met him…..Caun.  6′1, 195 dark as freaking midnight and shoulders wide enough to carry the world.  Yea this was it right here!  Now time to get about my…

Sexy

My breath caught in my throat as Mario took off his shirt.  You could feel the heat coming from the TV screen as Lynn began rubbing his chest with the admiration a fine man like that deserves.  I missed all of my ‘freakem’ days due to me getting married so very young.  I don’t regret it either.  I have traveled a path of slow seasoning and it has paid off for me.  I am not a believer in quantity making a good lover.  If you suck 100 dicks - that don’t make you a good dick sucker, that makes you the woman who sucked 100 dicks, lol.

I think the whole grown and sexy thing about sex is when you stop sexing and fucking and begin getting your groove on and making love.  For me, there is something clearly different when it is not driven solely by lust or the need to have genitals merge.  If you on me humping, then GET OFF OF ME!  It’s sad to say, but I have had some bad lovers. Folks that never got out of the back seat of their moms car mentality.  It was always about the score.  That gets boring fast.  My imagination is too rich, my passion is way to out of control for that type of relationship - my mind needs to be on fire - before I can really get into it.  I’ve only had that type of relationship three times and two of them were stepping stones to where I am now - - In Love and Making Love.

There is something so all encompassing about a man loving and desiring you. When I look at that man, my blood warms up to boiling. There’s no game behind our desire, no structure and no rules - we just be wanting each other, lol.  The comfort that comes with not having to play the game - let me tell ya’ll, it’s something else. No “if I do this will he think this”  No “I better ration it or he might get sprung” nonsense - that’s the whole point, you’re sprung and you should enjoy it.  Foreplay is all day every day, the intimacy is all day every day.  There’s even comfort in not being in the mood. Some of the best times we’ve had involved intimacy but not sex. 

So I think I’ve finally hit on my Grown and Sexy.  As an ever growing being - I look ahead at other milestones in that journey such as when your children get grown, menopause, weight gain and loss, the effects diabetes might have, gray hair and the like and I can honestly say that in the midst of all that life has to offer - we gonna be alright. Life is about decorating the rooms, starting out with a good solid foundation allows this. God blessed me with what I wanted in the package that I wanted - I can’t take that for granted.